On scheduling, rebelling against myself, and the burnout aftermath.

Last year I suffered massive burnout, I had a job with no structure yet structure was demanded of me (after a ADHD diagnosis and unmasking – not a great mix). To fix the stress I felt that caused, and maybe I’m over compensating, but planning… time to slow down?

I love working to schedules. Schedules and calendars and “task” reminders help me stay on track. My friends say I have almost… “workified” my private life, but I find it’s what works for me – as long as I build in breaks.

It might work for one or two days. Having a structured day down to what time you’re cooking dinner, building in study, including you’re travel time. I actually loved it. But I forgot to build in a bit of flexibility. Because while I’m autistic as fuck and require dates, times, locations, etc, I also need to be able to just relax otherwise it’s… I know, it’ll sound crazy – too much structure and I start rebelling against myself and start a spiral of guilt etc etc etc.

All this to say – as a result of this, and being in a happy mental state again, I’ve started other hobbies; like a small business I started last year. No pressure, just when the creativity roles around, act on it. I have a strong desire to return to the sport I used to love. Spending time with friends after work.

And now – because there isn’t enough time in the day, I wake up early. Am I some kind of… adult know? Functioning 6am? Looking forward to going to work? Yowza when did that happen!